The Truth Comes Out

Now some people know me as the "hyper girl" some know me as "giggles" because I'm always in a happy mood but don't be to sure, don't judge a book by it's cover. I needed to get this off my chest before anyone can say anything to me. I find it hard to open up to people about being made fun of in school. I obviously stand out in a croud of people and I am not affraid to say what's on my mind (opinion wise). I feel alone in a crowded room of all my friends. A better analogy is I feel as though Im standing in the middle of a room full of people screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even hears it, no one looks up, nothing. Now almost everyone deals with some sort of depression sooner or later. I have had issues with bullying my whole life no matter what I do I will not fit in. I am very outspoken and sure when it comes to opinions. I may seem like the happiest person in the world sometimes, like I have a lot going for me, good grades, good friends nice family but I just keep all the little things kept up inside me without being able to open up. My friends may ask whats wrong with me but I keep everything bottled up inside my parents (mom) can see there is a problem, however telling her exactly whats wrong is hard I can't quite spit the words of my feelings out.

Life as a TEENAGE BABYSITTER

Babysitting, is a great stress and "birth" Control. I have always had a happy outgoing life and a friendly and OUT THERE personality which makes me appeal to younger kids. When I was 12 years old, I lived in this housing complex in Vegas and my best friend was a 9 year old. Now most of my friends are older than me and I'm the young one. I have a passion for making little kids laugh and have fun. I just love the innocence of their little minds. I have many people who I babysit for and I'm not the average baby sitter I enjoy every second I spend with the kids from feeding them dinner to putting them to bed. I usually work night jobs so that's the time I get with them and I am perfectly OK with that. I take pride in what I do and accomplish with them weather its teaching them how to play games or just the natural natures of life. I have received many drawings that kids have drawn me. They hang on my fridge or wall at all times. I love working with the smaller kids and watching them grow to a point of independence, it makes me happy that I might have had something to do with them turning into progressive citizens. It also teaches me some responsibility in my own life as well as theirs. :)

A day without emotions

Emotions are what make up YOU. I know if i lived a day without emotions i woild probably do some pretty wreckless things, that i would never even think about doing because i know there would be concequences and i would be afraid to get in trouble. My friends wouldn't want to be around me because i would be a verry dull And boring person. I wouldnt have the happiness or joy of doing something or bring with my friends. I wouldn't be Afraid of anything which is bad, if you dont have fear you do stupid things that you will later regret. Fear is a good thing its your common scence giving you warning of danger. Without emotions you could put your life in serious danger. So i could live a day without emotions would i want to? Not a chance. I love my happy go lucky personality and i love my friends who have always been there for me, i also respect my fears.

Would you want to be your friend?

Honestly I cant say because I dont know what im like from the outer prospective. People i know who are my true friends are like me but not me. I dont know what im like. I know i will tell u my honest oppionion weather you want to hear it or not. Sometimes i can be bossy but i have a record in my past for hurting people close to me. Honestly im a true friend i stick by you untill you tell me to go away amd even then ill be by your side just not as often. I love who i am becoming because as the days go by i learn more about people and life pessons whit h prepares me for my future. So if you really want to know what kind of friend talk to the people close to me.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don't like?

We are only human and our nervs can get the best of us. We get frustrated and our emotions can seriously affect the way we do or say things whitch can change what we like and dont like about what we do out. We make mistakes and we can regret some of our stupid decisions. Emotions are everything and they controll who we are. An average life span is about 100 years. You may like things you dont fo because your nervs can get the best of you.they hold uou back and caution you from doing something dangerous that could potentially put your life in danger. You see people everyday doing and persuing dreams you want but you gotta run at your problems full speed ahead.

Dear future me.......

Dear future me,
   Will I ever get passed high school because right now it doesn't seem that way. Drama everywhere I go should I walk away or run full speed right at it? How will this effect my life? Please don't forget yourself in all the drama you got commin' your way. Don't forget the drama in high school because that drama teaches you lessons for later in life. Keep your health clean and set out to do what you want to do. Don't let little things get you down because your problems may seem huge and never ending but you have pulled through once you can do this again. Another thing DON'T ever forget your best friend Nick because remember he was always there. In all the other factors he will never leave, EVER. Out of everything you have gone through nick is the one thing remaining don't let that go. Hopefully  you understand now that everything that your parents did all the groundings the restrictions etc. were all to help you learn and get where you wanted to go. One last thing, Dont forget yourself, who you are and where you came from and don't forget me.

Is crying a sign of a weakness or strength?

I believe it't both, you can cry when ever you have been hurt emotionally however that crying is going to help you in the future. Crying is letting out emotion. It can also be a strength because you have overcome something outrageous and you cry tears of joy because you got what you wanted accomplished.Crying can be a sign of love as well as hate. If you dearly love your husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend and you haven't or wont see them for a very long time and you cry about it that can be a strength is getting through the time that you will have or have had without them.
 A soldier coming home from war to see his wife for the first time in a year and the hug and cry that is not a weakness its love and love is a strength. If the soldier doesn't come home and you get the horrifying letter. That kind of crying is a weakness that can lead to a strength. We all have hard times, what matters is how we deal with them to make it through in the end

Why do you love or hate Valentines Day

Valentines day, This holiday has never really meant much to me... Well at least not until a couple years ago. I used to get jokes played on me from age 12-14. When I was fifteen I had a boyfriend and we celebrated it early but we broke up shortly after. I have never liked it  because I am always alone or having some kind of family or boy issue. It makes me sick sometimes. However this year is way different, I got roses and all kinds of cards and got some Starbucks from the guy of my dreams <3. This year I have a person I really Like and I enjoy the holiday now. The whole point of valentines day is cheesy stuff. Its supposed to be mushy and cheesy so don't be afraid to say stupid little things like "be mine"